even though I have one on my phone

time is moving by so fast

and every day is exactly the same, work

sleep.. I feel if I had one by the door and every day I

made the ritual of crossing out the day maybe it would slow down

. Remember back in the 80s movies were preparing us for this..

We knew that villains were always going to try to take power.

but there were always heros preventing it.

Maybe I'm naive to think that it hasn't been this way before...

Nixon Water Gate..

I mention it over and over hoping it'll finally hit like it's supposed to..

I've read that during the great depression

The largest indoor pool in the world was built in a New York Sports Club.

At a time when 25% of the workforce was unemployed, wages had fallen 42% & over 2,000,000 Americans were homeless.

& in war like conditions

not living is easy

When its a potato famine in Ireland or government engineered mass genocides in Ukraine or Armenia or countless Asian countries..

We don't figure it's important or something..

Though the U.S. is the last stronghold, they are banking that once we fall, the rest of the world will do so..

& it's about even right now America & China's GDP.

Rather then the destrution of the world into a slave state..

We could be ushering in the information age..

Profiting off of entertainment and the things everyone loves about America. People spend most of their time looking for content..

So lets give it to them, along with the best products for the price... We can easily outproduce China though those in power have literally put the breaks on our country and have allowed them to double and double and double until they've caught up with us.. Fascism in the form of "socialism." Meanwhile.. So the goal then, is to make living as hard as possible, in hopes people will off themselves, more or less.

There was a time, the governments intention was to make happy families in America.

Personally, I've seen people, go through a tremendous physical workload for years and maintain

because they need to take care of their family.

There was a time when John F and his brothers were trying to sell democracy and capitalism to the world..

Look our people work and live prosperously in comparison. & what could've been elite education Sure there are different variations of suffering and people choose what they can get..

Pre made situations.. Are you interested in this? No...

How about this... Maybe

Then they end up regretting it until next time they have to do something..

I feel if you put the average wealthy person in the same situation they'd simply break down.

So to me, it's actually the regular people that are elite, since they can manage such strenuous tasks

popular culture insists that women be tormented

in somewhat of a preventative measure.

Rap agrees

Kind of hoping you'll fuck your girl once a week & sell her to the elite.

Sell a bunch of girls and you can stay busy..

Well it's not that we don't need someone to hope for..

part of me hoped

Trump would do some good, he's not a politician.. Freaking Devil in disguise.

& if you didn't notice, that he took over the media..

Used the pandemic to gain power. I don't know what to tell you.

It happens often: when people want to believe, they refuse to see the truth..

The Vegas sniper was a shady incident & if you ask Las Vegasans..

That was around the time Trump used to Feds to take power

& it's the worst kind of leadership..

When one uses government tyranny and fear to promote a mob like rule.

Since 2001, people have accepted that the government will commit crimes

to perpetuate their agenda & there's been all these school shootings...

& in our hearts and minds, we know... It's he CIA & FBI doing them

in hopes to disarm America and proceeded to take over the world in a Nazi like manner.

In a sense this whole time, he had gotten rich off of destroying land marks..

Probably keeping these priceless treasures for himself and selling them to the highest bidder..

While also scrapping the marble and stuff that used to impress others and make America stand out in the world in wealth

Taking as much as he can while declaring it as a loss, for the taxpayers to have to pay the difference, as he went bankrupt over and over robbing casinos and the American people in a similar manner.

After 2000 statistics report The country was flooded with dope, I couldn't find statistics for the whole time though in 2017 there were prescriptions enough for 59% of Americans to supposedly have a prescription to opiates

& all the while I was like incapacitated. I would gladly work and start my life

though the world didn't seem to want to let me.. Or I didn't want to let myself.

I feel it's not just that I was in Panda mode,

When I was 18 I did coke for a bit

fucked up my

libido

I had a responsibility

and it was just the other day I realized

that most of my life, I just let others

others fill the void of where I was supposed to act

and maybe not do it as well

For at least I have a heart and a brain

& these weirdos have made their fantasies standard...

Wait you like to pretend that he's trying to kill you while you're having sex?

Thats what gets you off?

As far as I know I didn't understand it

Left people on their own to figure it out..

Fear of AIDS and other diseases had me rather just watch the sex

and beat off to the freakiest thing I could think of. It felt good

Told myself to stop jacking off when I was 19

and never followed through, now here we are...

It's free.. There's no feelings involved, no one is hurt, there is no effort required

no one knows how freaky I am in the comfort of my home

& it turns out, it set the worst precident.

What may have started out as just questionable

has turned violent and weird and obsessive.

Americans are obsessed with doing it & they're doing it wrong.

Despicable tactics are often used to capture and enslave to promote the sex trade.

and

For all the casualness that was expected of sex I don't think I've met anyone that really understood it.

It seemed that the ones who had a lot of it, had the same vague misunderstanding and uneasiness.

Probably often mimicing what they saw in a movie as doing it right.

Had an artist friend say, I'm just giving the people what they want...

Though such behaviors are the exact reason we are damaged goods.

& I'm surely not the type to jump into something I don't get... Though I had already made that mistake with a person so it seemed ok to just keep doing that.

Thousands of attempts of romance movies tried to explain, what I think is the most important ritual in humanity..

People going bout their lives, often through conflict, coming to the realization that they want one another and that awareness that leads to a first kiss. I insisted on learning how to be a gentleman in such pursuits with quite limited success.

All the while, the man is supposed to be the corruptor

... I feel my senses and natural biological motivator to create such instances

were somewhat dorment from lack of stimulus... I thought back the other day and remembered another of the many instances I missed

People are so careless in that regard, the idea is you only live once, you want to experience as much enjoyment as you can..

& I believe so many people probably awake with sad memories or cannot sleep because of them & it's just expected to go that way,

and I never wanted it to be because of me.. However scarecrows and cowardly lions step in

While I'm just trying to up my game where I can.

I figure if a regular guy is supposed to do 4 years worth of college reading

I'll do 10 and read what I like..

& if a normal person gets an hour or 2 of exercise a day, I go for 8, 10 or 12

If I didn't think I could be one of the greatest examples then I'd just stay to myself and wait, hoping I can figure it out eventually.

I dunno, one day I got anxiety& it was strange, I'm from the hood, & ever since I started smoking weed I could give a fuck if I live or not, so long as Im doing what I think is right.. At the same time, I'm amazed by my high self and I want to keep adding to the progress of the world.

I forget what I was talking about but I was saying to someone, that I feel like something makes me more able to interact with people in my immediate surroundings

& he said I feel all drugs do that.

& I had a taster of coke in July and recalled the seriousness, the overwhelmingness of the matter..

. It's a facade, probably the best selling drug in America & that's saying a lot considering there were over 41 million adderoll perscriptions in 21

This time my google search says Benzodiazepines are widely prescribed drugs. According to IQVIA™,

there were 45.0 million alprazolam, 26.4 million lorazepam, 29.2 million clonazepam, 12.6 million diazepam, and 7.0 million temazepam prescriptions dispensed in the U.S. in 2017. That totals to around 120,000,000 benzo perscriptions & well over

191 million opiate perscriptions were written in 2017. That's 59% of the entire American population.

That's not including the heroine and new fangled fetty War on Drugs? That shit's a joke.. Like who has a cough that's serious enough to warrant codene cough syrup?

It's a great product that's intended to have you buying it over & over again. & I could see the benefits of consulting with a professional

if you are going to do hard drugs however, I feel at this point, it's just loopholes that are there for certain people to abuse.

That's not even including heroine or this new fangled fetty..

They've made drug addicts out of this country... & worse then that, anyone who goes against that

will have to go against those that are happy with this arrangement.

In 1910 gambling was forbidden in the United States..

wikipedia says Betting on United States presidential elections

from around 1868 to 1940 was practiced on a large scale, centered on New York city, which conducted an estimated half of the activity.

The money spent on election betting even occasionally exceeded trading done on the stock exchanges of Wall Street.

The odds from the betting markets were often used as a way to predict the outcome of an election.

1931 Nevada was the only state that allowed gambeling.

In 1964 New Hampshire had the first legal lottery since then.

1978 Atlantic City opens the first casino cost 42 million dollars by 1996 the same casino grossed 224.6 million. At that time I made $4.35 an hour.

By then 25 States had legalized casinos.

Now Utah, Hawaii, Texas and Tennessee are the only states oposed to casino style gambling.

& I remember in the hood, there was a certain love for hoes...

At least an understanding, that they were always in need of drugs and thankful to be able to release

their semen into them for a nominal fee.. This was generally accepted and not looked down upon

and it's like the country has turned into a giant ghetto of sorts...

while no politicians are trying to prevent it...

Rather then hoping to promote healthy families and a healthy society.

The intention is depopulation...

None "elite" Women are hoped to be used for a profit until they off themselves

While middle class women, see this and are not disturbed by it in a halfhazard almost jealous manner.

I simply state that we can do a lot better..

That the premise is flawed. China has built 59 story buildings in less then a month.

There are 0 indoor farm sky scrapers that have been built.

It's just a cop out, a manifesto of sorts, to justify doing filthy terrible things to the people of a nation

and it's the status quo.

Again I kinda hoped that orange man might make some changes

Just like I had hoped for Obama..

They say the right things..

Though they are part of the same scum that has allowed China to catch up with is in GDP and jeapordize our position to lead a free world.

though I am not so flawed as to not see that because of any affiliation with race